


Keep the Monsters at Bay

by Bellakitse



Series: 30 days of Sterek [29]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Derek Feels, M/M, Romance, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Stiles Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-17
Updated: 2013-04-17
Packaged: 2017-12-08 18:10:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/764430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellakitse/pseuds/Bellakitse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles worries about Derek.</p><p>....</p><p>“I’m scared for you,” Stiles says softly, timid as he cuts Derek off once again. He knows he’s revealing a lot with his words, but he’s tired, he tired of holding it in, tired of wondering if he or Derek are going to die and he’ll never be able to set this free. “You’re not sleeping, you’re barely eating, you’re wasting away, slipping away from me and I’m scared, because we’ve lost so much already and I don’t want to lose you too.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep the Monsters at Bay

**Author's Note:**

> Day 29: prompt: ‘I’m scared for you’

They deal with the Alpha pack but not before they’ve left horror and destruction in their wake, delivering heavy blows to the Beacon Hill pack. They lose Erica and in some ways they lose Boyd too; he’ll never be the same without the feisty blonde. They almost lose Isaac, the mind tricks they play on the boy leave him even more broken then before, more damaged. If he thinks about it, Stiles realizes they’ve lost Scott, at least the innocent happy go-lucky Scott he’s always known, these days his friend is harder and sharp edged like a knife, always ready to attack, it makes Stiles both proud and sad. Allison, well, Stiles tries hard not to mention Allison, no need to hurt Scott more. Lydia remains her fiery self but Stiles can see the cracks in her armor, Jackson leaving and the cluster of fuck her relationship with Aiden has caused. Danny isn’t doing much better after finding out about the wolves and why Ethan pursued him. It hurts Stiles to see yet another one of his friend dragged into this mess.

There are so many people that Stiles has to worry about, care for, so much on his plate trying to put his friends back together, keeping his father safe, especially now that he knows the big bad secret Stiles has desperately been trying to shelter him from. Yet the majority of his worry is going to the resident alpha. Stiles has watched for months now how Derek has closed himself off more and more, his eyes narrowed and searching at all times, the tension and stress building on his shoulders. Stiles understand, he understands Derek more and more each day now that they settled into something that could be called a friendship, Derek carries the weight of the world on his back, worrying about everything and everyone that comes into his life, convinced he’s going to be the cause of their pain and suffering, Stiles understands that feeling perfectly, it’s how he feels every day. And like Derek, Stiles has a need to fix, to protect, he just doesn’t know where to start when it comes to the older man.

…..

Stiles lets himself into Derek’s apartment, does it the ease of someone who’s done it a dozen times before, which he has since Derek gave him a key. Neither had questioned why he should have one, especially back then when they still been nothing but reluctant allies working together just to make sure they and everyone they cared about survived.

He walks across the room and up the spiral stairs, not bothering to be quiet, he knows Derek’s heard him approaching since he parked. He finds Derek where he usually does -the spare room that Derek makeshift into a training room from himself- doing pushups. Stiles can’t help the surge of arousal that spikes through him as he takes in the sight before him. Derek is shirtless as usual, the muscle on his back expand and contract as he pushes himself up and down. Derek pauses for a moment, turning his head to give him a look, Stiles shrugs not bothered, at this point he’s accepted his attraction to Derek, it’s honestly the least weird thing about his life.

“What do you want?” Derek grunts going back to his exercise, the sheen of sweat and the musky smell in the room telling Stiles that he’s been at it for a while.

“I’m worried,” he tries, knowing the words are falling on deaf ears before they even leave his lips, he watches as Derek pauses for a second once again, his eyes flicker to Stiles’. They’re surrounded by dark circles. Derek’s whole face is ashen and it’s been like that for a while now, but no more so since eight days ago when Derek had to kill his rogue uncle once again along with the leader of the Alphas Deucalion. Stiles doesn’t feel any regret over Peter’s death, he’d gotten what he deserved after trying to sell Derek out to the Alpha pack to save his own hide, but for Derek to have to kill his last living relative once more…well it just makes Stiles realize that life likes to be cruel.

“Don’t”

Stiles closes his eyes, counting to ten in his head trying not to yell at the stubborn mule in from on him. “Look, about Peter-“

“I said, don’t,” Derek growls swiftly going to his feet, glaring at Stiles. A year ago that glare would have sent Stiles running, now it just makes Stiles’ heart hurt. He rubs his hand over his chest, grimacing slightly when it moves the bandages that cover the claw wound Peter left on him before he died.

Derek catches the pain look and in a flash is in Stiles’ space, his hands hovering over Stiles’ shirt like he wants to lift it and inspect the damage.

“I’m fine,” Stiles dismisses with a wave of his hand. “Doesn’t really hurt anymore, just itches.”

Derek stares at the place where his cut would be under his shirt. “Little more and he would have ripped your heart out,” Derek whispers, his eyes cloudy and unfocused like he’s relieving the moment. Knowing Derek and his need for self-flagellation he probably is, has been since it happened, probably criticizing himself for not having noticed sooner how Peter had once again gone to the dark side. “You should be resting.”

“Funny,” Stiles says softly, his hand holding on to Derek’s bicep. “I was going to say the same thing about you.”

“Stiles,” Derek sighs but doesn’t move away while Stiles has a hold on him, worried that any movement will cause Stiles pain. “I’m-“

“Not sleeping,” Stiles interrupts, frowning. “Isaac told me you pace and workout all night, he can hear you, not that I need him to tell me when I can see your face. You look like you’re ready to drop.”

“Stiles,” Derek tries again, his voice a bit desperate.

“I’m scared for you,” Stiles says softly, timid as he cuts Derek off once again. He knows he’s revealing a lot with his words, but he’s tired, he tired of holding it in, tired of wondering if he or Derek are going to die and he’ll never be able to set this free. “You’re not sleeping, you’re barely eating, you’re wasting away, slipping away from me and I’m scared, because we’ve lost so much already and I don’t want to lose you too.”

Stiles is shaking by the end but he realizes that so is Derek, he takes in Derek expression, his eyes, wide and wild, like a cornered animal ready to take flight. “Look, its okay, I know you don’t feel the same and this doesn’t have to be a thing,” Stiles rushes on. “I just-“

“I don’t even understand how you can stand to look at me, much less care,” Derek whispers, his expression pained. “I’m the reason Peter hurt you, tried to kill you.”

Stiles frowns, his hand tightening on Derek’s arm. “Peter was crazy Derek, he hurt me because-“

“Because he knew it would hurt me,” Derek gets out, his fist clenching. “He wanted to hurt me for my part in the fire.”

Stiles stomach clenches at the mention of the fire, he knows all about it after the Alpha pack shared Derek’s memories with him via their freaky telepathic links through claws.

“He found out about me and Kate,” Derek continues and Stiles flinches at the name, his mind automatically flashing to Derek’s private moments with her, he’s never hated and envied someone as much as Kate Argent.

“He knew how much it would hurt to lose you,” Derek’s voice cracks and Stiles can’t help it, he steps forward, his arms going around Derek, holding on even when Derek tenses up in arms, he keeps on hugging him till Derek’s body loosens.

Derek hugs him back desperately.

“I’m tired, Stiles,” Derek’s whispers, his words muffled against Stiles’ skin. “Just so fucking tired.”

“Sleep,” Stiles whispers back, his hands digging into the muscles of Derek’s back earning him a groan. “You need sleep.”

“I can’t,” Derek says as he pulls back to look at Stiles, his expression so lost Stiles thinks his heart will break. “Nightmares.”

Stiles swallows the lump in his throat, unshed tears stinging the back of his eyes. “I’ll stay with you, keep the nightmares away.”

Derek looks at him for a long time, his hand touching the side of Stiles face and Stiles closes his eyes leaning into the touch. “Okay.”

…..

Stiles wait in Derek’s bedroom, his shoes and shirt off as he lies in the bed waiting for Derek to be done with his shower. His heart is pounding in his own ears and he’s sure Derek can hear it from the bathroom but he can’t stop it.

The door to the bathroom opens and Stiles holds his breath watching as Derek moves around in low riding pants and a towel around his neck.

“Your heart is beating like a jackrabbit,” Derek comments after he drops his towel and crawls into the space next Stiles.

Stiles turns to his side facing Derek. “Teenager.”

Derek gives him a smile, it’s small, but it’s the first one Stiles has seen on Derek’s face in a long time. “That’s your excuse?”

“Okay,” Stiles drags out. “Teenager in bed with the guy he’s crazy for.”

Derek holds his breath for a moment, clearing his throat as he looks at Stiles. “What you said before about me not feeling the same-“

Stiles shakes his head, kicking himself for opening his mouth. “It’s fine.”

“You know that’s not true,” Derek continues, shifting closer. “You have to know.”

“No offense,” Stiles says shifts too. “But you’re kind of like the Sphinx, hard to read.”

“Hmm,” Derek considers, closing the gap between them. “Still hard to read?”

“Getting clearer,” Stiles whispers, his face inches away from Derek’s. “Try being blunter.”

The smile Derek gives him now is brighter and as he kisses him softly, Stiles can taste Derek’s minty toothpaste.

“Better?”

“A bit,” Stiles teases. “We’ll work on it, _after_ you sleep.”

Derek rolls his eyes but looks uncertain again. “You’ll stay?”

Stiles reaches out, smooth Derek’s brow with his thumb before pulling Derek into his arms, Derek comes easily, his head on Stiles’ chest near his wound, his arms around Stiles waist.

“I’ll stay,” Stiles says into Derek’s hair, still a bit wet and nice smelling from his shampoo, kissing it when Derek sighs sleepily, his body relaxing. “I’ll stay; I’ll keep the monsters at bay.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I [tumblr](http://bellakitse.tumblr.com/), it's a thing i do


End file.
